My last post was on Valentine's Day, so
I clearly failed at my posting-once-a-week goal for 2014. Ah well, I
gave it a good run at least... Once I lost the momentum of posting, I
just couldn't get motivated to post again... Because if I missed a
week, I'd feel like I needed to make up that missed post by posting
twice, and so on. I started marking down every week I
missed, thinking it might motivate me... It didn't (the exact opposite, actually; it only served to discourage me further). So, I stopped
posting.
And now, I'm back. I'm back because,
once again, the Vegan Month of Food (Vegan MoFo) has rolled around. It's in September
again this year. I still need to sign up,
though. I've been procrastinating, mulling over possible themes.
The deadline for signing up is August 27. There's still time. Two days. Three if you count tonight. I'll get around to it.
But I think the real reason I've been procrastinating
is because I no longer have my dear friend Mystery with me. She died on
June 17. I've been avoiding writing this post, too worried about how
sad it would make me to write this, to make it more and more real, to
tell even more people that she died. But with Vegan MoFo around the
corner, I can't keep dragging my feet, so here goes, and please
forgive the rambling nature of this post.
As mentioned here,
Mystery had been to the vet for blood tests, and she'd been doing
well on her special prescription food for kidney health. But then,
around the beginning of June, we noticed her getting a bit more
wobbly. She'd lost weight. The vet thought she might have low
potassium, but after a blood test, we found out her potassium was
actually too high. Our attempts to get her to eat more and flush the
excess potassium from her system weren't enough, and ultimately, her kidneys
failed her. (According to the vet's estimate, she was 15 years old.)
In those last few days, I searched for
a sign to take her in to the vet one final time, to have her put to
sleep, but she never gave me one.
(Unlike Mr. Boogie, who – I'm
realizing I'm really bad at writing about death if this is the first
time I've mentioned here that he died – gave a clear sign that
he was ready. I knew he'd been having frequent seizures, but on a
random visit home to see my parents on November 11, in addition to
observing a couple seizures, I also saw him struggle to eat, only to
have that effort cause another seizure. I accompanied my mom
when she brought Mr. Boogie to the vet to be put to sleep. He'd always cried and
cried when going to the vet, but this time he was completely calm
being placed in his carrier, and quiet all the way there and inside
the vet's office. I knew he was ready, that the right
decision had been made. He was around 20-22 years old.)
Up until the very end, Mystery was
moving around, with a little help sometimes, to each of her favorite comfy spots, as if she wanted to enjoy
them all at least once more: The loveseat, where she'd cuddle up with
her little pink bear; our bed; the nest Zach made her in the
bookshelf; the cat bed in the closet; the blanket on the floor in
the sunshine; and sitting at the door to the balcony, so she could
see outside.
Mid-morning on June 17, I sensed
something was amiss. Mystery had been laying in the sunshine like
usual, but she'd started breathing more heavily. So I settled down
beside her and held out my right hand (she rested her paw in my palm), and my
left hand underneath her head. And I stayed there with her while she
fought, cheering her on for each breath she managed and finding myself in shock and disbelief when she eventually stopped breathing.
I don't write this out to be morbid. I
write it out to be honest. Death is tough. Death of a senior animal
is really tough. Death of a senior animal you adopted and loved but
only got to spend a year and four months with is really, really
tough.
But even with all that considered, I'm so glad to have had this beautiful little lady in my life. And even though it was for such a short time, I don't have any regrets about
adopting her. She was an adorable combination of a needy baby and a
crotchety old lady. She was stubborn and independent and loving and
strong. She was determined and soft. She was a mystery, our Mystery,
her past so unknown, her present with us so especially sweet, and a future without her so incomprehensible.
Honoring the memories of both Mr.
Boogie and Mystery, I would just like to say that senior animals are
amazing. They deserve our respect, our protection, and our love. When
you next look to adopt, please consider adopting senior animals; they
have so much love to give and are great cuddle buddies. Visit Petfinder to see the animals available for adoption in your area.
And if you can't adopt, support your local rescue organizations and
no-kill shelters: Volunteer, donate, and share posts of adoptable
animals.
